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Please Tell Me Why That Is
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Thu Nov 23rd, 2017 07:55 pm
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M.P. Dudash
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Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1165
Favorite Artist: George Jones, Coe, Twitty, Paycheck, Gosdin, Daryle Singletary
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When I get to
Meet my maker
After I live
The questions I'll ask Him
Will surely be big

Like why is
A sweet child
Sometimes called home
Before their parents
Even are known

And why did
You take her
When she's the reason I lived
Please tell me why that is

Please tell me why
I beg this of You
I've got all eternity
To find out the truth

I understand fate
Is written like this
But please tell me why that is

He sat with me and said son
Life is the gift
Your questions I'll answer
But you may not like this

I gave you free will
And a path with many roads
Each one you went down
Is the one that you chose

I put those before you
Even some that you wished
Yet you feared what I gave you
Please tell me why that is

Please tell me why
Was it just foolish pride
Fearing you weren't worth
Such a beautiful life

Or was it the bottle
You desired and hid
That decided your pathway
Please tell me why that is

I sat there with regret
And shame in my heart
My questions He answered
Said It's time that we part

But as I walked out
I turned to Him once again
I said Father I'm a sinner
Why did you let me in

He took me in his arms
And said I died for your sins
Your heart though not pure
Asked at the end

For forgiveness so I granted
Your one final wish
And I hope that you know
Just why I did

You held the answers
We both know the reasons
For all that you missed
Please tell me why that is

Please tell me why that is

Copyright Michael P. Dudash 11/22/2017

Last edited on Thu Jul 26th, 2018 02:21 am by M.P. Dudash



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 Posted: Fri Nov 24th, 2017 08:29 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 5903
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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Got a good feel to it, and love your hook :)

If it was me, I would probably try to tighten it up a little and lose a few words like:

I gave you free will
And a path with many roads > A path with many roads
Each one you went down
Is the one that you chose > Is one that you chose

But ahead of that you need to find the rhythm of the song to make sure it fits the syllable count. If you have that in your head, and it all fits then wonderful! Otherwise do that first.

I don't think there is more than tidying up to do here. It feels pretty strong already.



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