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Suitcase full of money
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Tue Nov 14th, 2017 03:38 pm
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Seamus
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heading down to mexico
like an outlaw on the run
a suitcase full of money
should help me have some fun

not looking for the flash life
just a quiet little town
find me a pretty senorita
a place to settle down

left behind a different life
one of misery and solitude
sleeping on the cold streets
begging each day for food

I was once a proud soldier
served my country well
when I got home was left all alone
trapped in a living hell

no one to turn to
living on the street
no sign of hope
resigned myself to defeat

when an opportunity arose
in an alley where I lay
a drug deal that went bad
for men who died that day

I looked around and on the ground
amongst bodies that did lay
a suitcase full of money
that certainly changed my day

Now I'm off to mexico
in an old jalopy truck
low profile all the way
don't want to change my luck

not looking for the flash life
just a quiet little town
find me a pretty senorita
a place to settle down

CopyrightAlanEvans14112017



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I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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 Posted: Tue Nov 14th, 2017 05:15 pm
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Marty Ray Boone
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An interesting idea for a song! Do you put any of your songs to music?



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Marty Ray Boone, now seeking God's will for my life and asking if I may serve him as a gospel bass singer and singer of harmonies in that form of music! I thank Holy God for my voice! Near perfect pitch as well, guidance for my fingers on that piano, AMEN
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 Posted: Wed Nov 15th, 2017 02:49 am
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Seamus
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I have zero music ability so I'm afraid not but you are welcome to do so if there are any of my scribblings that you like.



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I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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 Posted: Wed Nov 15th, 2017 10:08 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Wow. Whole lot of story packed into this one!
Drug deals, homelessness and possible PTSD with a suitcase of money to boot!

I think it hangs together nicely, but one line did stick out:
that certainly changed my day
That doesnt work. You might try something like:
Gonna turn my life around
although you would need to do some rearranging to make the rhyming scheme work.
Or something else, but change that line.

If you know the band "The Refreshments" I can imagine them doing a version of this. If you don't know them check out "Banditos" [urlhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cj20I1vHQ4M[/url]

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