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Fat Cat - Structure feedback requested
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Sun Aug 6th, 2017 07:14 pm
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Ken Einberg
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Joined: Sat Jul 29th, 2017
Location: Tallinn, Estonia
Posts: 3
Favorite Artist: Muse
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Hi Guy's.

SO im working on a new song and i need your feedback on the song structure, only the first verse is written in terms of Lyrics (added below), drums are made with "addictive drums", everything is a demo.
I've cut and cut the song into different forms and at this point i think im Overthinking everything, in any case, when you listen, does it make sense or not.

https://soundcloud.com/ken-einberg/boondocks_ver1/s-wwSfT

Lyrics -
Rolling Thunder coming down the street,
A walking Shade and whiskers showing in the endless veil.
She's got the Angels Gaze,
a goddess face,
an hypnotic look so your dowzed for days.

That Kitty's down a brand new goal,
eyes glisten as you walk alone
she's got the Devil's charmer,
a careless rober and fools running as cannon fodder.

Thank you everyone!



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 Posted: Sun Aug 6th, 2017 11:07 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
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Well, so far so good. The overall vibe is cool. There's a lot of variety in there but at this point I can't say if that's good or bad. My suggestion would be to try and get a full version down. Then see if it hangs together or feels disjointed.

I can't really tell in which parts you plan to have vocals vs instrumental so it's tricky to comment on that.
The current vocals are fairly quick and staccato so you may want to vary that with some longer drawn out vocals for a chorus / break.

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