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Stronger Tide
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
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 Posted: Mon Jul 31st, 2017 02:22 am
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RainyDayMan
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[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/335744229" params="auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%" height="450" iframe="true" /]
Stronger Tide

© 2017 Owen Hovenden

Standing in the streetglow
On the ebb tide of night
Drifting with the outflow
Of the crowd in the night
Raging, flaming, fading to light
Racing through the landslide of life

Floating in the soft glow
On a slow motion flight
Drifting through the white snow
Set to ignite
Raging, blazing, cascade of light
Dancing on the edge of a knife

Life, oh life
Life, oh life

Waiting in the afterglow
On the ebb tide of life
Drifting in the outflow
Of a much stronger tide
Waiting, anticipating, changes to come
Intentions all come undone

Life, oh life
Life, oh life

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 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 08:29 pm
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Dogmax
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Sounds good Owen but im thinking that second line could be "On the edge of the tide of night" also on the last two lines on the verses im hearing a drum tap and im thinking maybe as is with the music its not doing your vocals any favours, im thinking a bit less with music but a drum tap added just might help keep to your vocal level.

Also that might help your vocals go low into the chorus but keeping the music as is and rising up on second line of chorus but only with the flow, good song i like what i see in your lyrics.



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 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 09:19 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.

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 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 09:34 pm
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Dogmax
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RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:



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 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 10:06 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Dogmax wrote:
RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:


lol. Well we'll have to agree to differ on this one!

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 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 10:33 pm
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Dogmax
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RainyDayMan wrote:
Dogmax wrote:
RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:


lol. Well we'll have to agree to differ on this one!


Nice one :cool: tbh i had to google "ebb tide"



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 Posted: Thu Oct 19th, 2017 11:06 am
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Marty Ray Boone
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Owen, the rhythm and music fits the lyrics very well. This has a great sound to it. You have a creative mind for songwriting! I really like your music. I hope you will be inspired in the future to write more gems!:cool:



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 Posted: Thu Oct 19th, 2017 09:28 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Thank you Marty, you're very kind! I certainly hope to write more songs in the future! How often is a mystery even to me. Alan is able to write nearly daily, but I have to wait for the muse to arrive :)

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 Posted: Sat Oct 21st, 2017 04:35 pm
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Lane
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heyRDM, nice song, I think its well written. I like the song but I was hearing a little more darker side to this. those minor chords...know what I mean? but thats just me, maybe I`m to used to that stuff and I think every song should have that.....lol but in my opinion this write and melody could support that too! anyway good work. Lane



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 Posted: Sat Oct 21st, 2017 09:27 pm
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RainyDayMan
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Could go darker, but I'm happy with the SUS chords rather than minor ones. Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting!

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