The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters Home 

Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters!
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.

Stronger Tide
 Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank
New Topic Reply Printer Friendly
 Rate Topic 
AuthorPost
 Posted: Mon Jul 31st, 2017 03:22 am
  PMQuoteReply
1st Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
[soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/335744229" params="auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%" height="450" iframe="true" /]
Stronger Tide

© 2017 Owen Hovenden

Standing in the streetglow
On the ebb tide of night
Drifting with the outflow
Of the crowd in the night
Raging, flaming, fading to light
Racing through the landslide of life

Floating in the soft glow
On a slow motion flight
Drifting through the white snow
Set to ignite
Raging, blazing, cascade of light
Dancing on the edge of a knife

Life, oh life
Life, oh life

Waiting in the afterglow
On the ebb tide of life
Drifting in the outflow
Of a much stronger tide
Waiting, anticipating, changes to come
Intentions all come undone

Life, oh life
Life, oh life

Back To Top 


 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 09:29 pm
  PMQuoteReply
2nd Post
Dogmax
Member
 

Joined: Mon Mar 4th, 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 255
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Sounds good Owen but im thinking that second line could be "On the edge of the tide of night" also on the last two lines on the verses im hearing a drum tap and im thinking maybe as is with the music its not doing your vocals any favours, im thinking a bit less with music but a drum tap added just might help keep to your vocal level.

Also that might help your vocals go low into the chorus but keeping the music as is and rising up on second line of chorus but only with the flow, good song i like what i see in your lyrics.



____________________
https://www.reverbnation.com/patfeely

https://soundcloud.com/patfeely

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdeUJMibOK0V5L25rce5xbQ
Back To Top


 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 10:19 pm
  PMQuoteReply
3rd Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.

Back To Top 


 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 10:34 pm
  PMQuoteReply
4th Post
Dogmax
Member
 

Joined: Mon Mar 4th, 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 255
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:



____________________
https://www.reverbnation.com/patfeely

https://soundcloud.com/patfeely

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdeUJMibOK0V5L25rce5xbQ
Back To Top


 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 11:06 pm
  PMQuoteReply
5th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Dogmax wrote:
RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:


lol. Well we'll have to agree to differ on this one!

Back To Top 


 Posted: Mon Oct 16th, 2017 11:33 pm
  PMQuoteReply
6th Post
Dogmax
Member
 

Joined: Mon Mar 4th, 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 255
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
RainyDayMan wrote:
Dogmax wrote:
RainyDayMan wrote:
Thanks for the feedback Dogmax!

I like the phrase "ebb tide" because of its meaning, so I think I'll keep that.

I think the drum track in the chorus (ie the "Life, oh life " bits) can be improved. I'm not great with those, and grabbed one I had that seemed to fit the best, but on reflection not so great. Drum taps is an interesting idea, I'll have to experiment with that.

I think the vocals would be best improved with a different vocalist! I don't think the melody needs to change.


"ebb tide" but does it flow well Owen on listening, im replying as a listener "different vocalist" im hearing what you're saying, i have the same problem with some old lyrics of mine but then again there were some that i found the right flow for :cool:


lol. Well we'll have to agree to differ on this one!


Nice one :cool: tbh i had to google "ebb tide"



____________________
https://www.reverbnation.com/patfeely

https://soundcloud.com/patfeely

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdeUJMibOK0V5L25rce5xbQ
Back To Top


 Posted: Thu Oct 19th, 2017 12:06 pm
  PMQuoteReply
7th Post
Marty Ray Boone
Contributor


Joined: Mon Oct 24th, 2011
Location: Fort Mill, South Carolina USA
Posts: 402
Favorite Artist: "Rev.Jimmy Swaggart", Dallas Holm" "Kerry Boone"
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Owen, the rhythm and music fits the lyrics very well. This has a great sound to it. You have a creative mind for songwriting! I really like your music. I hope you will be inspired in the future to write more gems!:cool:



____________________
Marty Ray Boone, now seeking God's will for my life and asking if I may serve him as a gospel bass singer and singer of harmonies in that form of music! I thank Holy God for my voice! Near perfect pitch as well, guidance for my fingers on that piano, AMEN
Back To Top 


 Posted: Thu Oct 19th, 2017 10:28 pm
  PMQuoteReply
8th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thank you Marty, you're very kind! I certainly hope to write more songs in the future! How often is a mystery even to me. Alan is able to write nearly daily, but I have to wait for the muse to arrive :)

Back To Top


 Posted: Sat Oct 21st, 2017 05:35 pm
  PMQuoteReply
9th Post
Lane
Member
 

Joined: Sun Mar 20th, 2011
Location: Illinois USA
Posts: 103
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
heyRDM, nice song, I think its well written. I like the song but I was hearing a little more darker side to this. those minor chords...know what I mean? but thats just me, maybe I`m to used to that stuff and I think every song should have that.....lol but in my opinion this write and melody could support that too! anyway good work. Lane



____________________
"Grace always pours from a closing wound"
Back To Top 


 Posted: Sat Oct 21st, 2017 10:27 pm
  PMQuoteReply
10th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Could go darker, but I'm happy with the SUS chords rather than minor ones. Glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting!

Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Dec 1st, 2017 10:32 pm
  PMQuoteReply
11th Post
A_Towner
Member
 

Joined: Sat Aug 26th, 2017
Location:  
Posts: 12
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
really compelling melodies here. any other plans for this song?

Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Dec 1st, 2017 10:34 pm
  PMQuoteReply
12th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Not at the moment. Any suggestions?

Back To Top


 Posted: Fri Dec 1st, 2017 10:54 pm
  PMQuoteReply
13th Post
A_Towner
Member
 

Joined: Sat Aug 26th, 2017
Location:  
Posts: 12
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
The song has a sort of spacey melodic feel, I think just a few things to give it depth could really bring things together. Maybe adding some reverb to the vocals, adding some background ambient noises (long drawn out picks or strums). some background vocals during the chorus would really separate it from the verses.

Giving another sound/melody to bring focus on during the short instrumental phases between verses. For instance bringing in the guitar and referencing the vocal melody you have. I think you've got a solid platform here with a lot of room to get creative.

Back To Top 


 Posted: Fri Dec 1st, 2017 11:13 pm
  PMQuoteReply
14th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks for the suggestions! In the past I've had a couple of demo's done of my songs, and what that showed me was the gap between what I can achieve with my home setup, and what a professional unit can achieve. My own vocals, guitar skills and production skills are the most limiting factors for improving the song. I think if I was taking this to the next level, I would get a demo done, and take up your suggestions with them. Trying to do it myself feels like an incremental improvement when what it needs is a major quality injection. Sadly, production demos are not in my budget right now! So I try to get the bones of the song right to the point where people can imagine how it ought to sound rather than how it does sound.

Back To Top


 Posted: Tue Dec 5th, 2017 05:32 am
  PMQuoteReply
15th Post
ttognaci
Member


Joined: Sun Nov 8th, 2009
Location: Oahu, Hawaii USA
Posts: 364
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Songwriter
Status: 
Offline
Catchy rhythm.......but sorta fell through in the chorus.......however, that rhythm is so infectious that it picks everything back up, again.
Love the guitar, Man!!
-Tom

Back To Top 


 Posted: Tue Dec 12th, 2017 01:34 pm
  PMQuoteReply
16th Post
nicetalkintoya
Member


Joined: Mon Oct 17th, 2016
Location: New York USA
Posts: 43
Favorite Artist: 
I am a: Singer/Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Nice guitar work! I really love the chord changes and your vocal phrasing on the lines:

"Raging, flaming, fading to light" and "Raging, blazing, cascade of light."

And, for some reason, the chorus brings Bowie to mind... points for that! haha.

Back To Top


 Posted: Tue Dec 12th, 2017 08:51 pm
  PMQuoteReply
17th Post
RainyDayMan
TSF Administrator


Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3755
Favorite Artist: James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Joni Mitchell
I am a: Songwriter/Musician
Status: 
Offline
Thanks James!

nicetalkintoya wrote:
And, for some reason, the chorus brings Bowie to mind... points for that! haha.
Such as sad loss that man has gone!

The chorus puts me more in mind of Pink Floyd

Back To Top 


Current time is 10:12 pm

Top



UltraBB 1.172 Copyright © 2007-2016 Data 1 Systems
Page processed in 0.1576 seconds (10% database + 90% PHP). 34 queries executed.