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Seamus
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Thanks, friend, can you put some music and a voice to this?
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Andrea
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Very bold - love it. I can picture the whole song taking place scene by scene.
____________________ Andrea
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Posted: Wed Jan 16th, 2019 11:25 pm |
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23rd Post |
Seamus
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Thanks for looking and commenting friend.
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Posted: Sun Mar 17th, 2019 02:18 am |
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Seamus
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Where did you go to Mr Fasstrack?
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Posted: Fri May 24th, 2019 10:27 am |
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Seamus
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Almost ten thousand views on this anyone got music?
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Posted: Thu Jun 13th, 2019 04:24 pm |
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mike67
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Great lyric, Seamus. I like the line about a place where the devil won't treat. But I also quite like the idea of waking up where the devil breaks bread, kind of where he hangs out with new folk.
Looking forward to hearing it.
____________________ t w o f r o m z e r o
https://soundcloud.com/mike-warnes
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Posted: Wed Jun 19th, 2019 10:47 pm |
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27th Post |
Seamus
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Maybe you'd like to put the music to it?
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Posted: Thu Jun 20th, 2019 11:58 am |
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mike67
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I'm primarily a lyricist; rubbish at melodies. My writing partner may have been able to help, but he barely has enough time to work on our stuff at the moment, and we need to get some new material finished. They're strong lyrics, and I'm sure someone will pick them up.
____________________ t w o f r o m z e r o
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Seamus
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I live in hope. lol
____________________ I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work. Thomas Edison (1847-1931)
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Seamus2
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Can someone bring this to life?
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Posted: Sat Oct 12th, 2019 03:54 am |
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Sean T.
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It all sounded pretty good to me (music, lyrics, singing). I'm coming late the thread but I like this. Cool synth sound. Moog synthesizer?
____________________ My virtual band is The Cracks. My songs can be found on Bandcamp.com:
https://thecracks.bandcamp.com/
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Posted: Sat Oct 12th, 2019 04:42 am |
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33rd Post |
Posted: Thu Oct 24th, 2019 03:48 am |
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34th Post |
jamestoffee
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Reads well and sounding good in Owen's version.
It throws me off a bit that I like the line "the devil won't tread" and the idea reworking "where angels fear to tread", but "devil may tread" seems off b/c people often associate demons/spirits and drinking.
"Don't like those days that end in a Y"
I like this, but most would here instead of read a song, so it would sound like "Don't like those days that end in a WHY" ....BUT that's a cool line too!
pain in my head I so wanna cry...could be stronger
I thought today I'd wake up dead....funny/clever
I've been to places the devil won't tread....needs clarification
one more drink and I'll be okay...good
thats what I tell myself to say...could be stronger
just one nip to keep out the cold....great
its a story that many have told...could be stronger
oh these lies no-one believes...this doesn't match up with the last line of previous verse
even myself I can't deceive...awkward wording for rhyme's sake
just one more til the bottles done....ok
another day that the devils won....here is confusing devil here/doesn't tread/may tread
tomorrows just another day....fine
another bottle in the same old way....good
maybe then I'll wake up dead...nice play on previous setup
in a place where the devil may tread...unclear again
Thanks for sharing.
James
____________________ https://soundcloud.com/jamestoffee
https://cjamesconrad.bandcamp.com/
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Posted: Tue Dec 31st, 2019 08:21 pm |
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Seamus2
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Happy new year to you all.
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Posted: Sat May 30th, 2020 06:24 pm |
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36th Post |
fasstrack
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I haven't hung out here for some time. Came looking for an old lyric of mine.
But I plan to someday record The Devil and the Bottle on a blues date. It's built on your lyric and you deserve a co-write. PM your info and I'll check back. Thanks...
____________________ 'Charlie Christian got me in a world of trouble'...
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Posted: Mon Aug 24th, 2020 02:12 pm |
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37th Post |
fasstrack
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Here's my final cut. If it comes to a commercial recording you are owed a co-write. It's inspired by and built on the bones of your lyric:
THE DEVIL AND THE BOTTLE Joel Fass © 2018 Exemplar (ASCAP)
As yet another wasted day finally ends
With the devil and the bottle, those unshakeable friends
I pray that tomorrow I’ll wake up dead
But for now I’ll live on to bear this load instead
I’ll go on telling myself, each and every day:
‘Just one more drink, I swear I’ll be okay’
‘Just one last taste, after that no more!’
Yeah, just one last taste, Hey, devil---you pour!
Next day, the bottle beckons: ‘Just one nip, you're wanting some’.
Then without thinking twice, once more I succumb
My way to fight temptation is not to fight at all
So I devour that bottle, thinking ‘hey, it was his call’
Soon before I know it, another day is done
As the devil sits and grins, for once again he’s won
And the days all run together, each and every one the same
With the devil and the bottle as masters of the game
So once again, as another day is done
The devil toasts the bottle---once again they've won
These days sure run together, and always end the same
With the devil and the bottle as masters of the game
Tomorrow will surely be just like today
Another pour, another bottle in the same old way
If I should wake up dead, I still won’t be free
Even death won’t ever stop those two from haunting me
So I’ll just pour one more, what the hell---live for today
Try not to think too much, say again ‘Hey, I’m okay’
But of course, down deep it’s gone beyond my control
Can’t win when the devil and the bottle own your very soul
Not when the devil and the bottle own your very soul
____________________ 'Charlie Christian got me in a world of trouble'...
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Posted: Fri Feb 12th, 2021 08:46 pm |
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38th Post |
fasstrack
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*Final cut, The Devil & the Bottle:
THE DEVIL AND THE BOTTLE Joel Fass © 2018 Exemplar (ASCAP)
As yet another wasted day finally ends
With the devil and the bottle, those unshakeable friends
And I pray that tomorrow I’ll wake up dead
But for now I’ll live on to carry this load instead
And I’ll go on telling myself, each and every day:
‘Just one more drink, I swear I’ll be okay’
‘Just one last taste, after that no more!’
Yeah, just one last taste, c’mon, devil---YOU pour!
Next day, the bottle beckons: ‘Just one nip, you're wanting some’.
And without thinking twice, once again I succumb
My way to fight temptation is not to fight at all
So I devour that bottle, thinking ‘it was HIS call’
And before I know it, another day is done
As the devil sits and grins, for once again he’s won
All the days run together, each and every one the same
With the devil and the bottle as masters of the game
And so once again, as another day is done
The devil toasts the bottle---once again they have won
These days sure run together, and always end the same
With the devil and the bottle as masters of the game
Tomorrow will surely be just like today
Another pour, another bottle in the same old way
And should I wake up dead, I still won’t be free
Even death won’t ever stop those two from haunting me
So I’ll just pour one more, what the hell---live for today
Try not to think too much, say again ‘Hey, I’m okay’
But of course, down deep I know it’s gone beyond control
Can’t win when the devil and the bottle own your soul
It’s over when the devil and the bottle own your soul
*Asking y'all: if it came to a recording and a little royalty $---other than the idea is there enough similarity between the 2 to give this forthright gentleman a co-write/co-royalty?...Last edited on Fri Feb 12th, 2021 08:49 pm by fasstrack
____________________ 'Charlie Christian got me in a world of trouble'...
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