I was minding my own business when she caught my eye,
I knew I couldn't resist temptation am only a guy.
She was drinking coffee alone on a table for two,
Built up the courage to walk over an trip on my shoe.
I fell in love the moment I saw her face,
A beauty so bright a different race.
I forgot my name am back at the start,
Playing card game she's queen off hearts,
Yeh my Queen off hearts.
She's wonderful amazing and incredible, I want it all,
Fun loving got potential, to stand tall, oh I want more.
Life is two short to wait for dreams,to come true.
It's a long road to walk now my heart, has no clue.
Can stay hours on these chairs,
Playing snap, an playing pairs.
I could be loosing but I don't care,
The queen off hearts, has got me here.
Danny, James, Dennis, Charles, Rob, Don, Art, John, Mike ...
I am a:
I agree with Keith...I think you have the makings of a really good song here.
As I was reading it I could see it all happening (good visuals) and even chuckled a little when I got to the line about "tripping on your shoe". lol That's a really good line and I think it was the perfect way to end that verse. I do, however, think the lyric is in need of some polishing and Keith has done a really good job of doing this to the first verse. If you will use this as example and do it to the rest of your lyric, the lines will have a little more of a 'complete thought' to them and make for better reading and singing, song wise. Also...you say Queen "off" Hearts, but I'm thinking you actually mean Queen "of" Hearts and that maybe this is just a typo or something. But to make it read/sound better, you might want to go in and change it from 'off' to 'of '
Good concept Andrew... and a great start on it!
____________________ First you write it with your heart - then you re-write it with your head