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Take This Cup Away!
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 Posted: Tue Jun 11th, 2013 08:56 pm
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whill
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When trials come my way lordWith you I take my standWhen my enemies hunt meI wanna take your handWithout your strength lordWhere would I be today?So when the going gets toughI wanna pray and say
(chorus)Take this cup away lordIf it is your willLet this moment pass byBut father let your will be done in my lifeSo I can be the one you love and approve of always
(Verse2)Though prosperous they are At them you look from farAnd you'll be breaking up their armsBut close to me you areYou make me stand tallJust when am about to fallThat's why I come to you with this songCos you can make me strong
(Chorus)
(Bridge)If my sins I confessAnd seek to find your graceYour spirit I'll possesIf my burdens you bear And show me that you care
Lord I'll have no fear
(Chorus)
whilltree@yahoo.com



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 Posted: Tue Jun 11th, 2013 09:29 pm
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just1L
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If you don't mind I'd like to offer a suggestion. A lot of times when people see lyrics like this, all run together, they don't take the time to comment. I'd suggest putting the line breaks in so that it's easier for the viewer to read and concentrate on giving feedback.

Like this:
When trials come my way lord
With you I take my stand
When my enemies hunt me
etc...

Randy



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 Posted: Tue Jun 11th, 2013 09:55 pm
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whill
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Oh yeah! Thanks Vee. That's how it was arranged, but got mixed up. thanks for your attention.


When trials come my way lord
With you I take my stand
When my enemies hunt me
I wanna take your hand
Without your strength lord
 Where would I be today?
So when the going gets tough
I wanna pray and say
(chorus)
Take this cup away lord
If it is your will
Let this moment pass by
But father let your will be done in my life
So I can be the one you love and approve of always
(Verse2)
Though prosperous they are
At them you look from far
And you'll be breaking up their arms
But close to me you are
You make me stand tall
Just when am about to fall
That's why I come to you with this song
Cos you can make me strong
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
If my sins I confess

And seek to find your grace
Your spirit I'll posses
If my burdens you bear
 And show me that you care
Lord I'll have no fear
(Chorus)

Last edited on Tue Jun 11th, 2013 10:03 pm by whill



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 Posted: Sun Jun 23rd, 2013 05:26 pm
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Cara
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Hi, Whill

I like the lyrics. I'm just wondering - do you think they are complete, or do you let them rest a little while to see if you might edit a few words or have a second look at the rhyme scheme?

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 Posted: Sun Jun 23rd, 2013 06:28 pm
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whill
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Thanks Cara for replying. Am not particular about the rhyme in the chorus. It flows better that way. Its complete except you wish to complement it.



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 Posted: Sun Jun 23rd, 2013 06:31 pm
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whill
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I would appreciate your vocal talent on the song!



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 Posted: Sun Jun 23rd, 2013 06:39 pm
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Cara
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As long as you are happy with it!

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 Posted: Mon Jun 24th, 2013 09:25 pm
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whill
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so how do we proceed?



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 Posted: Tue Jul 2nd, 2013 03:47 am
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bmwrigh
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Hey Whill,
I was just getting to look at this lyric as you have it posted on my other post.
I like the looks of it, though the one thing I would say to pay attention to would be the rhyming scheme you have in your verses. Where in verse 1 you are rhyming every other line and then down into verse 2 you are rhyming every line with the next. Some something to think about, but as always use your own judgement that is just what I see looking at the lyric!!
Also remember to put your name and copyright on all your lyrics as you post them.

Last edited on Tue Jul 2nd, 2013 03:54 am by bmwrigh



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 Posted: Sun Aug 4th, 2013 06:41 pm
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whill
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Thanks Sir for taking a look and offering suggestions



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 Posted: Fri Aug 23rd, 2013 03:59 pm
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Jim Colyer
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A nicely written song showing deep conviction although I see nothing new.



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