The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters > Lyrics Lounge > Works in Progress (All Genres) > Please comment your feedback!(:
|Welcome to The Songwriters' Forum - by Songwriters, for Songwriters! |
Please log on to view our discussion forum in its entirety.
|Moderated by: Troy33, RainyDayMan, HankTheTank|
|Around here my head spins in multiple directions.
Can i find a bible verse to show my true affections?
Please tell me what you think!!(:
My religion is my life but how do i accept it?
World so cold all im looking for is benefits.
So much pain and so much death.
So many lives lost in a single breath.
Too many feelings and too many emotions.
Too many scars and promises that have been broken.
So much hate and so many lies.
So many tears just drop fom my eyes.
And My family. The people who are supposed to accept me.
Have judged me and hurt me beyond recovery.
Every day just laying in my bedroom,
Wandering if there was an oppertunity for success.
I dont play this game to just play, i play to be the best.
So much Confidence in myself. Nobody can stop me.
Im gonna be myself. Want my dad to be proud of me.
To take care of my family.
The ones that i love.
The ones that i hope, never have to watch me from above.
So as i my heart cries at 200 beats a minute.
Im trying to dodge these emotional bullets.
Like everything, you left way to fast.
But the only reason im happy is because this time together wont be our last.
|It seems that this is about how it's very hard to believe in your religion with all the things that are going on in your life. From this, it looks like it's changing direction a bit? The song is talking about how you're struggling with life and how you're going to continue to endeavor, and then it talks about someone who went away. Unless that is the chorus, I would suggest to mention or allude to this person so the listener can follow easier. IMO.
Other than that, song looks great so far!