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| Posted: Fri Oct 26th, 2012 05:30 pm |
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1st Post |
bmwrigh
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| Location: | Texas USA |
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BRANDON WRIGHT
©2012
IN THE DEPTHS OF THE NIGHT,
I AM SEARCHING FOR LIGHT,
SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING,
THAT I WILL SOON FIND,
LOVE EVERLASTING.. ETERNAL PEACE,
GRACE..AND FORGIVENESS,
ALL PAID OUT FOR ME,
(CHORUS)
SO SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LOVE SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR GRACE SHINE ON ME,
(REPEAT CHORUS)
IN THE COOL OF THE SPRING,
WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS,
BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND LIFE-CHANGING,
SHOWERS STILL COME,
AND DAY TURNS TO NIGHT,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
THE GIVER OF LIFE,
(BACK TO CHORUS)
BRIDGE:
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
WHEN MY BREATH BECOMES WEAK,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
WITH EACH BREATH THAT I BREATHE,
(BACK TO CHORUS)
____________________
I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ACTUALLY SONG WRITING OR
GOD LISTENING BUT EITHER WAY TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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| Posted: Tue Dec 18th, 2012 01:44 am |
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2nd Post |
sophiaraquellyrics
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Hi Brandon! I really like your lyrics! I feel like in the beginning where it says "Grace... And forgiveness, all paid out for me" You could change it to "Grace.. and forgiveness, all /planned/ out for me" I think that could flow a little better. Also, in the last bridge, you are very repetitive in the word "breath/breathe" which is fine, but you could re look that and search some synonyms that might fit better.
Great lyrics, keep up the good work!
____________________
“The number one reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten.” Vaibhav Shah
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21st, 2012 02:06 am |
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3rd Post |
bmwrigh
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THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS, SORRY I'M NOT HERE MUCH ANYMORE BETWEEN WORK AND TRYING TO START SCHOOL RIGHT NOW. I REALLY LIKE YOUR SUGGESTION ON "ALL PLANNED OUT FOR ME". I'M NOT SO SURE ON THE BRIDGE THOUGH, IT IS REPETITIVE I AGREE BUT HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING THAT GOES BETTER AND MATCHES MY HEART FOR THIS SONG. BUT I AM ALWAYS OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS , I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
____________________
I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ACTUALLY SONG WRITING OR
GOD LISTENING BUT EITHER WAY TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21st, 2012 02:23 am |
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4th Post |
lissaw70
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bmwrigh wrote:
BRANDON WRIGHT
©2012
IN THE DEPTHS OF THE NIGHT,
I AM SEARCHING FOR LIGHT,
SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING,
THAT I WILL SOON FIND,
LOVE EVERLASTING.. ETERNAL PEACE,
GRACE..AND FORGIVENESS,
ALL PAID OUT FOR ME,
(CHORUS)
SO SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LOVE SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR GRACE SHINE ON ME,
(REPEAT CHORUS)
IN THE COOL OF THE SPRING,
WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS,
BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND LIFE-CHANGING,
SHOWERS STILL COME,
AND DAY TURNS TO NIGHT,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
THE GIVER OF LIFE,
(BACK TO CHORUS)
BRIDGE:
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
WHEN MY BREATH BECOMES WEAK,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
WITH EACH BREATH THAT I BREATHE,
(BACK TO CHORUS)
I love where this is going. I tend to write country......but when reading these........this struck me. It's just a suggestion.......so please take it as so. 
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
Until the last breath that I take,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
For the life that you gave.....
Or possibly:
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
WHEN MY Body BECOMES WEAK,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
Until the last time THAT I BREATHE,
Polish her till she shines........she's gonna be a beauty! Good luck! 
____________________
When I'm not writing, I'm a licensed cosmetologist, rural domestic domain engineer, and quad-certified master genitor...........
Don't struggle to "make" a song........strive to help it become what it was meant be...........
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21st, 2012 04:17 pm |
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5th Post |
Donna
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Brandon, this flows pretty well. I'd suggest a couple of small tweaks. Keep or sweep.
Donna
bmwrigh wrote:
BRANDON WRIGHT
©2012
IN THE DEPTHS OF THE NIGHT,
I AM SEARCHING FOR LIGHT,
SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING, (Suggest "looking" to avoid having "searching" twice.)
THAT I WILL SOON FIND,
LOVE EVERLASTING.. ETERNAL PEACE,
GRACE..AND FORGIVENESS,
ALL PAID OUT FOR ME, (Suggest "waiting for me".)
(CHORUS)
SO SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR LOVE SHINE,
SHINE..SHINE, LET YOUR GRACE SHINE ON ME,
(REPEAT CHORUS)
IN THE COOL OF THE SPRING,
WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS,
BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT, AND LIFE-CHANGING,
SHOWERS STILL COME,
AND DAY TURNS TO NIGHT,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
THE GIVER OF LIFE,
(BACK TO CHORUS)
BRIDGE:
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
WHEN MY BREATH BECOMES WEAK,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
WITH EACH BREATH THAT I BREATHE, (Suggest "Each time that I breathe" as the last line. Or "Though I can no longer speak". This implies the singer is praising in his heart.)
(BACK TO CHORUS) Last edited on Fri Dec 21st, 2012 04:17 pm by Donna
____________________
Life is too important to take seriously.
http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend
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| Posted: Fri Jan 4th, 2013 03:14 am |
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6th Post |
bmwrigh
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| Location: | Texas USA |
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Thank You for your ideas I'm still trying to figure it out, I like the idea:
AT THE END OF MY DAYS,
WITH EACH BREATH THAT I take,
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU,
For the life that you gave.....
still not sure if I like it better than the original or not.
____________________
I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ACTUALLY SONG WRITING OR
GOD LISTENING BUT EITHER WAY TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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| Posted: Sun Apr 6th, 2014 06:37 pm |
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| Posted: Mon Apr 7th, 2014 02:43 pm |
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8th Post |
bmwrigh
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| Joined: | Tue May 22nd, 2012 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
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Thank you! I write some country also, but my heart is always in it for the worship.
____________________
I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ACTUALLY SONG WRITING OR
GOD LISTENING BUT EITHER WAY TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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| Posted: Mon Apr 7th, 2014 02:45 pm |
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9th Post |
bmwrigh
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| Joined: | Tue May 22nd, 2012 |
| Location: | Texas USA |
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Thank you! I write some country also, but my heart is always in it for the worship.
____________________
I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S ACTUALLY SONG WRITING OR
GOD LISTENING BUT EITHER WAY TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!
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