View single post by just1L
 Posted: Thu Jan 17th, 2013 05:03 pm
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Joined: Fri Nov 20th, 2009
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
Posts: 1830
Well, there's not much to go on really but depending on how it is performed this seems like it would work for a chorus, verse or bridge. I think overall it is a good set of lyrics. One thing I could recommend is if this is indeed going to be your chorus is to make the verses have a different end-rhyme sound.

These lyrics all rhyme with the "a" sound (chain, ways, game, again, away)

It is good practice, and maybe a written rule somewhere, that you want to make your verses different from the chorus when it comes to end rhymes. Otherwise there's a chance that the song will sound monotonous to the listener.

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