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| Joined: | Mon Dec 3rd, 2012 |
| Location: | Ohio USA |
| Posts: | 9 |
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Hi!Yes, i understand what you mean with that being a mouthful. but what i was trying to say was it was too long of a wait that was easy because i didn't know i was waiting. so maybe not your idea but it does need changed so thank you
This is a really cool piece of work! I have some thoughts though...
I was curious as to if you had music written for this to go along with the lyrics?
I also was thinking, you could consider changing "Your cute smile never catching my attention" to adding a more unique adjective to replace the word cute. Possibly one that could leave the listener thinking more.
My other idea, you could re-write this line, "I have waited an unbearably easy long time." because I feel as if 'unbearably easy long' could be a mouthful with all the syllables. I like the word unbearable quite a bit, it is up to you, but I could see the line becoming "I have been waiting for an unbearable amount of time"
Good luck, and keep up the good work!
--Sophia Raquel
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I was Just A Phase
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