View single post by Above Infection
 Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2013 03:39 am
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Above Infection



Joined: Mon Dec 3rd, 2012
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 9
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sophiaraquellyrics wrote: Hi!
This is a really cool piece of work! I have some thoughts though...
I was curious as to if you had music written for this to go along with the lyrics?

I also was thinking, you could consider changing "Your cute smile never catching my attention" to adding a more unique adjective to replace the word cute. Possibly one that could leave the listener thinking more.

My other idea, you could re-write this line, "I have waited an unbearably easy long time." because I feel as if 'unbearably easy long' could be a mouthful with all the syllables. I like the word unbearable quite a bit, it is up to you, but I could see the line becoming "I have been waiting for an unbearable amount of time"

Good luck, and keep up the good work!

--Sophia Raquel
Yes, i understand what you mean with that being a mouthful. but what i was trying to say was it was too long of a wait that was easy because i didn't know i was waiting. so maybe not your idea but it does need changed so thank you
.



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