View single post by ADrunkPanda
 Posted: Thu Jan 10th, 2013 02:57 am
PMQuoteReplyFull Topic

Joined: Tue Dec 11th, 2012
Posts: 44
Very poetic. I like your lines and how they are written. The overall theme is pretty interesting, too (meeting somebody then asking "Why have you come just now?").

One thing that could be checked on is the chorus. The rhyme scheme is constant, and then it is changed. The line "Now it's time to ask you one question" could be changed so it can be consistent with the rhyme scheme of the rest of the chorus. The verses, though, look good.

Overall good work!

Close Window