View single post by LyrAssist
 Posted: Sat Jan 5th, 2013 09:31 pm
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LyrAssist

 

Joined: Thu Aug 18th, 2011
Location: (near) Sacramento, California USA
Posts: 119
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Hi Sophia,
Without a title/hook ... I wasn't sure where you wanted to go with this. I almost always work from there.(From a hook, that is) What you have here, seems to jump from thought to thought. If it were up to me, I'd start with your second line though. Here's what I came up with from your start. Your white water waves I couldn't save ... but I was able to keep the 'river rafting' image of it in the last verse, while still keeping to the starry theme I adopted.
Steve (aka, LyrAssist)


Title: "Shooting Stars" [as in 'target practice' :)]

(V1)
1 I thought you -- were here -- to help me
2 to help me find my way
3 I remember wondering why
4 the sky's shinning so blue
5 on such a sad sad day

(Pre-Chorus)
1 Now my nights are empty
2 since you shined me on
3 my stars are all gone

(Chorus)
1 You're shooting stars
2 you're shooting stars
3 I always thought -- they were -- way outt'a range
4 I always thought --- I sensed -- something strange
5 but wow, I don't know how -- you could've reached -- that damned far
6 You're shooting stars, shooting stars, shooting stars

(V2)
1 I thought you -- were there -- to lead me
2 not to lead me on
3 I remember wondering where
4 the stars are tonight
5 where have they all gone

(Repeat Pre-Chorus)
(Repeat Chorus)

(V3)
1 I thought you -- were there -- to save me
2 not to delete my dreams
3 now I'm wondering who
4 can take me -- river rafting
5 along the Milky Way's white streams

(Repeat Pre-Chorus)
(Repeat Chorus)

sophiaraquellyrics wrote:
White water waves wash away the pains of today
I thought you were here to help me find my way
We sparkled like diamonds, glistened like stars, and now we are beginning to grow so far... Away...
I remember the sky shined so blue on such a sad day
That was when you told me it was time to walk away


I could use some help finishing this! Thanks!

Last edited on Sun Jan 6th, 2013 01:35 am by LyrAssist

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