|Joined: ||Mon Dec 3rd, 2012|
|Location: ||Ohio USA|
Seth, this reads more like a poem. If you want to write a lyric to attract a musician, it's important to structure it like one. Please re-read what I wrote in my post on your previous lyric. Can i suggest an artist where there is no chorus and around a 2:30 instrumental chorus? The Rocket Summer. He is a writing genius. He has a couple songs out without a chorus and they are magnificent. If you would please look up Treasure (not the one with intro) and Christmas Present (one with long intro)
Depending upon the genre, you're going to need a chorus. A song needs to have some kind of payoff - and that is in the chorus (unless you're writing an old-fashioned folk song consisting of several verses - but even then, the verses need to be consistent in their structure and metering).
No one is going to listen to an instrumental intro lasting 3 minutes (unless it's prog-rock). In fact, your whole song shouldn't last more than around 3 minutes, and that includes verses, choruses, and bridge.
Mind you, I'm commenting with the assumption you want to learn to write in order to have commercial possibilities. If you're not, and you only want to write songs for your own enjoyment, you can of course do anything you like.
I was Just A Phase