View single post by just1L
 Posted: Tue Oct 16th, 2012 06:52 pm
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just1L



Joined: Fri Nov 20th, 2009
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
Posts: 1830
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I think you have a good start here. There's one part that isn't quite working as good as it could.

These thoughts in my head won't stop spinnin', spinnin',
spinnin', spinnin' 'round, the sound...

To me the last two words "the sound" don't get associated enough with the following "of your voice". It definitely reads okay, but when listening to it without the lyrics, that part gets a little lost and just by hearing it, I didn't get the association between the two lines. Could just be me though.

I really like the outro you have and would possibly like to hear some of that a little sooner as I think it adds a bit to the song. While my opinions don't really mean a whole heck of a lot I do think this song has some potential.



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