Janke
| Joined: | Fri Jul 9th, 2010 |
| Location: | Harpers Ferry, USA |
| Posts: | 1119 |
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I saw zeroes in reply to this, so I figured I'd found a rare, lonely lyric to look over. I have a couple of thoughts about this. I like the piece on a tough, timely subject. But, I would prefer reversing weep and cry. 'Weep the weep' seems weird to me. Maybe it's just me. I'd say 'cry the cry...' and 'weep into your pillow.' I'd also prefer the word 'again' to anew,' which seems archaic. Other than that, as far as I can see, if the meter works out into a singable lyric, this could be a haunting, powerful song.
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