View single post by Janke
 Posted: Wed Sep 15th, 2010 04:39 pm
PMQuoteReplyFull Topic
Janke



Joined: Fri Jul 9th, 2010
Location: Harpers Ferry, USA
Posts: 1119
Status: 
Offline
I saw zeroes in reply to this, so I figured I'd found a rare, lonely lyric to look over. I have a couple of thoughts about this. I like the piece on a tough, timely subject. But, I would prefer reversing weep and cry. 'Weep the weep' seems weird to me. Maybe it's just me. I'd say 'cry the cry...' and 'weep into your pillow.' I'd also prefer the word 'again' to anew,' which seems archaic. Other than that, as far as I can see, if the meter works out into a singable lyric, this could be a haunting, powerful song.

Close Window