View single post by just1L
 Posted: Wed Dec 2nd, 2009 11:43 pm
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just1L



Joined: Fri Nov 20th, 2009
Location: St. Louis, Missouri USA
Posts: 1830
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Owen/Peter,

I like the song you have going here. It definitely has a melancholy feel to it that go great with the words. The one thing I would comment on is the rhyming in the 2nd & 4th lines of each verse. The second & third verses rhyme (i.e. brings>thing & done>run) but the first verse doesn't (soul>lost) Maybe something like "Now I’m turned around retracing all the lost ground that I have sowed" Sowed may not work but something like that.

Otherwise great job guys. It's a nice listen. :)



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