View single post by Jeff Knight | |||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Posted: Sat Apr 8th, 2006 03:04 pm |
|
||||||||||||
Jeff Knight![]()
![]() |
Mai wrote:Any suggestions? Well I don't know if I can give anything productive, but I think the start of the second verse should go back to the thumbing beside the road visual. Maybe open up with watching cars go by and not getting a ride or maybe talking bout a girl passing by in a car and let that girl be the one the angel is talkin bout, or maybe you see a billboard in the distance with an ad for a casino with a showgirl on it and let that image be what the angel is referring to. Or maybe split the billboard idea for ver 2 and the passing woman as ver 3. That would give me more visuals, but it is your song and you can do with it as you please. ![]() I also think this song needs an ending which shows an accomplishment or a disaster by saying something bout most days the devil wins or the angel wins. It just needs a better ending to me. ![]() Last edited on Sat Apr 8th, 2006 03:08 pm by Jeff Knight ____________________ Songwriting is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then exploration |
||||||||||||
|