View single post by BobbyJoe
 Posted: Tue Mar 28th, 2006 11:32 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 24th, 2006
Location: Nashville, Tennessee USA
Posts: 254
Susan, here's another way to look at it.  Keeps it short and to the point.

This heart is closed for now
Couldn’t reach it if ya’ tried
This heart is closed for now
'Cause her love for me has died

That's what I call a half-chorus.  It can work, but if you wanted to go to a full chorus, you would need to double the amount of phrases.  Phrases 5 and 6 would point to the past, perhaps, and 7 and 8 could come back to the hook.  There are lots of choices here.

The chorus sums up the song.  If it's closed now, you may wish to talk about it in the verses being open and what happened to lead up to its closing.  The verse(s) following the first chorus could point to the future.

Just some ideas, trying to be helpful.  :D

One other point: I've always found it a real good exercise to find songs I really like, copy their lyrics by hand, and study them.  Doing just one a day will really help alot in learning overall structure.  Writing hit song lyrics out by hand is a process that helps one internalize lyrical structure, and I highly recommend it to everyone.  After a while, it becomes a natural part of your writing.

BTW, another good thing about your writing is that it's already very conversational and natural.  Many writers come into lyric writing with a poetry background and have to struggle to find a conversational voice.  You already have yours.  :)

Last edited on Tue Mar 28th, 2006 11:43 pm by BobbyJoe

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