View single post by Roy Harris
 Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2006 01:47 am
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Roy Harris



Joined: Sun Oct 9th, 2005
Location: Texarkana, Texas USA
Posts: 3763
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Ha, you question it, so there must be a reason.  I ask myself, have I ever stood in the rain and smelled apple blossoms.  Don't think I have.   Of course, if you were standing in an apple orchard in the spring, you might smell the apple blossoms, but you would smell that even if it didn't rain. What I have smelled is the smell of the fresh rain itself.  Everyone knows that smell.  So why not say:

As the smell of the fresh rain fills up the air

Doesn't have to be eactly that, but something similar

In your first verse, you say: Offer no relieve.  I think you used that to rhyme with believe, but it is not grammatically correct.  That would be: Offer no relief.  I think you could say that and still have what that call a slant rhyme or whatever they call it.  It would be close enough to sound OK.

Other than that, I am like Sean, would like to hear you sing it, as I think you guys have a good one here. 

 

 

 

 

Last edited on Sat Feb 4th, 2006 01:50 am by Roy Harris



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