|View single post by Roy Harris|
|Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2006 01:47 am||
|Ha, you question it, so there must be a reason. I ask myself, have I ever stood in the rain and smelled apple blossoms. Don't think I have. Of course, if you were standing in an apple orchard in the spring, you might smell the apple blossoms, but you would smell that even if it didn't rain. What I have smelled is the smell of the fresh rain itself. Everyone knows that smell. So why not say:
As the smell of the fresh rain fills up the air
Doesn't have to be eactly that, but something similar
In your first verse, you say: Offer no relieve. I think you used that to rhyme with believe, but it is not grammatically correct. That would be: Offer no relief. I think you could say that and still have what that call a slant rhyme or whatever they call it. It would be close enough to sound OK.
Other than that, I am like Sean, would like to hear you sing it, as I think you guys have a good one here.
Last edited on Sat Feb 4th, 2006 01:50 am by Roy Harris
I was raised in a large family in a small house. I never slept alone until after I got married.