View single post by derrickhand300
 Posted: Fri Jan 22nd, 2021 01:47 am
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derrickhand300



Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
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Thanks Andrea!
Here's where im at
I used many of the word changes you added- well- because they were great!

I also changed the structure to the one you suggested to V/C/V/C/B/C ( I didn't know we could do That! :) )
In my mind I cant make the "Oh Beckham County" part work- only because I cant hear it.

I think Beckham County Line as a title/hook best suits the song- my worry is that its so specific ( being a location) that most folks wont read the lyrics- just from reading the title.
If I read:
Mama Aint Got The Keys
or
No Need Callin Mama
That sort of makes me think "hmmm...what's this about?" and want to read on
I LOVE to share with you the finished version- but so far every single one Ive finished Ive gone back to in a couple weeks and changed :) I will PM you about the Pitch to Pro Pipeline thing that way i can send you a link then you can decide if its suitable to share here

I would love for this song to be sung like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtVrDud1gZM&list=RDooj1QCxd88w&index=24

Here goes- dont hate me!

No Need Callin' Mama
(V1 1)
Passin' through Western Oklahoma
Keep on 'til that Texas line
Don't even stop for fuel
Unless you plan on doin' time

Beckham County good ol' boys
Dyin' to stop and say "hello"
Itchin' to search your car
With no plans on lettin' you go

(Chorus)
"Come On Vacation-Leave On Probation "
They ought to put it on a sign
Stake it in the grass along I-40
At The Beckham County Line
DA's gonna get her fines
Lawyers' gonna get his fees
No need callin' mama
She aint got the keys

(V2)
They're sure to find a stash
These po-po don't play fair
Gathering up their "evidence"
Pullin' it out of thin air

Dollars are what they're after
So you better have some cash
But bein' broke aint no joke
In this Beckham County trap

(Chorus)
"Come On Vacation-Leave On Probation "
They ought to put it on a sign
Stake it in the grass along I-40
At The Beckham County Line
DA's gonna get her fines
Lawyers' gonna get his fees
No need callin' mama
She aint got the keys

(Bridge)
Don't take my warning lightly
I'm writing from my cell
A stop in Beckham County
Is a one way trip to Hell

(Chorus)
"Come On Vacation-Leave On Probation "
They ought to put it on a sign
Stake it in the grass along I-40
At The Beckham County Line
DA's gonna get her fines
Lawyers' gonna get his fees
No need callin' mama
She aint got the keys

Last edited on Fri Jan 22nd, 2021 02:24 am by derrickhand300



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