View single post by derrickhand300
 Posted: Sun Jan 17th, 2021 08:52 am
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Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
Taylorm260 wrote:
Unless you plan on doin' time
^^^^ mmmmk. Interesting.

"Come On Vacation-Leave On Probation "
^^^^ nice original rhyme

No need callin' mama
She aint got the keys
^^^^ I like this line, but I'm not sure if this is the right song for it unless you explain it a little further. I might just be being super picky on the logic (I was trained to write essays, not songs lol), but my issue with this line is that she isn't locked out of her car, so that isn't the problem. If you are referring to jail-cell keys, then it isn't explicitly clear. However, it may be more obvious to other audiences.

Dont waste no time worrying about
All they plant from their trunk
^^^^ not totally sure what you mean. Again, maybe other people will understand it better than I do, but do you mean they are taking things from their own trunks and planting it in the subject's trunk?

"Come On Vacation-Leave On Probation "
They ought to put it on a sign
Stake it in the grass along I-40
At The Beckham County Line

DA's gonna get her Court Costs
Lawyers' gonna get his fees
No need callin' mama
She aint got the keys

My favorite part of this is the first half of the chorus. It seems upbeat but serious at the same time. And I like the isolation of the sign idea. Can I ask what inspired this one?

Thank you-I live in Beckham County Oklahoma along I40- its a crooked lil rural Peyton place of a county- good people- terrible justice system "good ol boy" its all about WHO you know

Paul Harvey actually once said on the air "If you want to get away with murder- go to Beckham County Oklahoma"

As for myself I did 4 years in prison on a trumped up drug charge ( that was 20 years ago) where they actually PLANTED evidence after kicking my door in and finding nothing

Always wished thee was a song about this place- so now Ive written it :)

As for the lines- they all come from real life experience
Once when we were young my friend got thrown in jail for the weekend here for fighting- when he called his dad to make his bail his dad said " Why you callin me Robert? I aint got the keys!" for 30 years that's made me laugh ( I just adapted to a mother)

"Oklahoma- Come on vacation-leave on probation" is a term I heard a lot 20 years ago in prison- an inmate used to say it all the time and it stuck in my head

"Doin Time" of course represents going to jail or prison

You REALLY did get all the slang correct :)
I will come back to it and polish it up some more
and THANK YOU always for helping me!

Last edited on Sun Jan 17th, 2021 08:54 am by derrickhand300

When You're A Hammer- The Whole Word Is A Nail
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