|View single post by Taylorm260|
|Posted: Tue Dec 29th, 2020 02:11 am||
|Our life had been a struggle
I know you tried your best
You needed more than "just gettin' by"
And I couldn't give the rest
^^^ Good. It's informative but not shoved down the audience's throat.
"I held your note and read." Very nice, smooth transition.
I agree with everything RainyDayMan said except for that last part. I love verse two. Using the objects to represent memories is so effective, and it really drills the last line of that verse home. I think verse two is very nice. I suppose you could include that idea of his in your bridge or another verse though.
Also, have you heard the song, Buy Me a Rose? I kind of get similar vibes from your lyrics as that song. I don't know why lol.
Last edited on Tue Dec 29th, 2020 02:18 am by Taylorm260
Disclaimer: I am a beginner! Take any advice from me with a grain of salt because I probably don't know what I'm talking about!