View single post by Taylorm260
 Posted: Tue Dec 29th, 2020 02:11 am
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Taylorm260

 

Joined: Wed Dec 9th, 2020
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Our life had been a struggle
I know you tried your best

You needed more than "just gettin' by"
And I couldn't give the rest
^^^ Good. It's informative but not shoved down the audience's throat.

"I held your note and read." Very nice, smooth transition.

I agree with everything RainyDayMan said except for that last part. I love verse two. Using the objects to represent memories is so effective, and it really drills the last line of that verse home. I think verse two is very nice. I suppose you could include that idea of his in your bridge or another verse though.



Also, have you heard the song, Buy Me a Rose? I kind of get similar vibes from your lyrics as that song. I don't know why lol.

Last edited on Tue Dec 29th, 2020 02:18 am by Taylorm260



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Disclaimer: I am a beginner! Take any advice from me with a grain of salt because I probably don't know what I'm talking about!
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