View single post by derrickhand300
 Posted: Sat Nov 28th, 2020 08:11 am
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Joined: Wed Nov 25th, 2020
Location: Oklahoma USA
Posts: 258
Well- being a songwriter is much more complicated than I understood-thank you so much for the link and input

Here is what my original version sounded like to music

It really didn't have the rhythm you all described- and until coming here i actually didn't know there was a formula- so thank you again for that

When i get the money I am going to have the guy that sang it and put it to music for me- do it again but use these changes to the lyrics

When Forever Ends

We both said I Love You
Almost 20 years ago
We put our dreams together
As our child inside you grows

We became a family- two boys,a dog, me and you
Everything together-No Mountains we couldn't move
We pledged our love in Texas-two little boys with big grins on their face
We vowed our love FOREVER- Man how my heart raced!

Now I pour my heart out to you - Desperate to make amends
You know how much I need you- only you just need a friend
How do I say goodbye my true love
When forever ends?

Years were filled with hard work and all the happiness we could find
Struggling to raise our family- doing it dime by dime
While watching our children grow up -Our hearts swelled with pride
Complete love together- working side by side

Years together passed quickly- looking back on it tonight
Love destroyed with anger - In our one and only fight
Now our home is empty- all that's left are pictures of the past
Sadness fills the rooms where two young boys once laughed

You know how much I need you- only you just need "a friend"
I pour my heart out to - Desperate to make amends
I just can't say goodbye-How can I love again?
When forever ends

To my wife, my soulmate and my best friend
We said we'd love forever..
How do I say Goodbye?
When Forever Ends

I appreciate any more advice yall can offer

I would like someone that sounds and sings like Vince Gill to sing it for me and i would like a short sax solo at that end of 'Forever Ends" in the verse

When You're A Hammer- The Whole Word Is A Nail
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