View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Wed Nov 11th, 2020 09:03 pm
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Andrea

 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 2071
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Hi Joe, I like the idea that this girl did this guy wrong, and he worked it out in his head that it wasn't his fault, it was all her (nasty woman). Everything fits this except the title. I think you should change it to something that says more like 'so glad I said goodbye'

The other line that sticks out to me is "Grab your stuff you gotta go!!" Since she has already left, this doesn't make sense. Maybe just 'goodbye, you goota go'



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Andrea
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