View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Tue Sep 22nd, 2020 01:53 am
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RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6665
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I like 'an idea of winter' as a phrase and concept. Very evocative, whilst being intangible and abstract. And the metaphor of seasons within us as well as outside works well.

Your 'B' section gives a sense of stillness - a frozen landscape that is peaceful rather than desolate. A regenerative pause.
Is this a chorus that will repeat? I'd like to hear it again ahead of your 'C' section.

You might be able to make the seasonal imagery even more personal if you wanted to
Cold air is rising up > Cold wind is rising up
Fresh rain keeps falling down > Droplets trickling down
Leaves are changing slowly > Leaves are fading slowly

I like the feel and imagery of this one.



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