View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Sat Aug 29th, 2020 01:03 am
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RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6665
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It's a strong write J.D, one where you can almost hear the music playing.

The "Oh, why"s work for me. The implied pause there is like the person thinking about it.

You said you would see me again, but I never saw you again
I think you should tweak that to remove the repeat on "again" maybe:
You said I'll see you later, but I never saw you again; or
You said you would call me, but I never saw you again

I tell myself I’ll stop loving you, but I don’t know when
Very nice line

Why wasn’t I good enough
You might consider:
Was I not good enough?

The "God up above" line might put some people off. I think you have options there.

I feel like there should be a way to play on: I was good but I wasn't good enough. Not literally that line, but that concept.

It's a good lyric, and worth smoothing any bumps!



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