View single post by cmaja
 Posted: Mon Jul 27th, 2020 02:35 am
PMQuoteReplyFull Topic
cmaja



Joined: Fri Mar 22nd, 2019
Location: Kennewick, Washington USA
Posts: 993
Status: 
Offline
RainyDayMan wrote:
I like the gentle flow of the verses and the rhyming scheme you are using there.

The chorus feels a little light emotionally. I think it might resonate more if there was a little more angst associated with the choices. In your introductory comments you said you were thinking of life changing choices, and that's more the direction I would suggest you lean. The "toss a coin" phrase makes it feel somewhat arbitrary and less meaningful.

I like the last verse and coda, how our final path is ordained for us. Seems a good way to end the song.


Thanks RD Man for you review and suggestion. The chorus reflects the reality I was faced with a number of times —where I had to make a decision in a moment that was no more than a flip of a coin and my life would have been extremely different if I took the other path. Example: In the Army I was present with the choice of being stationed at Panama or Okinawa. I chose Okinawa and ended up in the Vietnam War. There wasn’t any angst. It was a simple unemotional choice I made not knowing what the future held. Totally arbitrary. I’ll probably make at least one more.

Charles



____________________
All songs are from God. Those that are not, aren’t songs at all.
Close Window