View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Wed Jul 15th, 2020 07:53 am
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RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6627
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It's a lovely message Ian. And "Differences and diversities" sums it nicely and also rolls off the tongue.

There's a few phrases that don't feel quite smooth to me, so you might consider:
Bright shining colours at the sky > Bright shining colours of the sky
If all of us wear the same clothes > If all of us wore the same clothes
Only roses grow from the seed > Only roses grew from seed
If there’d be no individuality > If there were no individuality
Imagine we all would be blonde > Imagine if we all were blonde

This one I would change to make it even more inclusive, not just color
If we see a different coloured face? > If we see a different face?

Pasta is all the waiter brings
Personally, that line feels weaker.

I didn't really get this part:
What if all of us need to learn
Theater should follow the same beat
Don’t stand up while others sit down
Only roses grow from the seed

It seems to say the opposite, that we should learn those things. Should those lines be phrased in the negative?



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