View single post by MASempine
 Posted: Wed Jul 15th, 2020 03:30 am
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MASempine



Joined: Fri Jul 10th, 2020
Location: Bridgeport, Alabama USA
Posts: 239
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I don't like the second half of the chorus. You had it going so good then those three lines were a let down

Need something better than "Leads to pain and despair" Again first three lines in this verse are very good. Then a letdown. You settled.

I don't think the "hide and seek" verse is nearly as good ast the rest and I don't really think it fits. At least from what I was thinking

You've got something really good going. Just need to "top it off"



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