View single post by RainbowKeeper
 Posted: Mon Jul 13th, 2020 07:37 pm
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Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 466
Very good! I really do like what I read, you broke it down to even more „simplicity“!

I‘m a bit unsure about 2 lines:
I'm failing
And I fear << and am scared or: I’m scared ...would fit better from my personal view

But try to see
Where do I begin? << mhh I‘m still thinking about that...maybe: and help me see... dunno just my personal feeling.

Besides this I’d come up with a more „wordy“ part in the center...a climax.
Maybe add the emotions you have and their synonyms in line to speed and brush the whole thing up? I can almost „hear“ it already. But it’s yours and all I can give are ideas... 😉

All in all, like I said...I do like it!
Yours RK

Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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