|View single post by RainbowKeeper|
|Posted: Mon Jul 13th, 2020 07:37 pm||
|Very good! I really do like what I read, you broke it down to even more „simplicity“!
I‘m a bit unsure about 2 lines:
And I fear << and am scared or: I’m scared ...would fit better from my personal view
But try to see
Where do I begin? << mhh I‘m still thinking about that...maybe: and help me see... dunno just my personal feeling.
Besides this I’d come up with a more „wordy“ part in the center...a climax.
Maybe add the emotions you have and their synonyms in line to speed and brush the whole thing up? I can almost „hear“ it already. But it’s yours and all I can give are ideas... 😉
All in all, like I said...I do like it!
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters