View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2020 11:40 pm
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Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 2016
RainyDayMan wrote:
I like the contrasts.

The first one (tears in my eyes) is less so. As I first read it, I took the tears to be from the sun so perhaps a positive thing. Was that intentionally ambiguous?

For me, "twisted" implied "around your finger" so there may be room to explicitly reference that somewhere.

'all my beliefs are now doubts" is a strong line.

I liked:
blood sucking leech
recurring nightmare

Thank RDM for you comments and feedback. I was thinking about the sun bringing tears to the eyes. I did not see that as positive. Maybe that one may not work if other people do.

The twisted is supposed to me she loves parts him, but other parts not so much - she is torn in her feelings. I like the twisted around the finger meaning. It fits :)

Yeah a vote for blood sucking leech!

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