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| Joined: | Tue Nov 27th, 2018 |
| Location: | Poughkeepsie, New York USA |
| Posts: | 2016 |
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I like the contrasts.
The first one (tears in my eyes) is less so. As I first read it, I took the tears to be from the sun so perhaps a positive thing. Was that intentionally ambiguous?
For me, "twisted" implied "around your finger" so there may be room to explicitly reference that somewhere.
'all my beliefs are now doubts" is a strong line.
I liked:
blood sucking leech
recurring nightmare
Thank RDM for you comments and feedback. I was thinking about the sun bringing tears to the eyes. I did not see that as positive. Maybe that one may not work if other people do.
The twisted is supposed to me she loves parts him, but other parts not so much - she is torn in her feelings. I like the twisted around the finger meaning. It fits
Yeah a vote for blood sucking leech!
____________________
Andrea
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