View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2020 11:57 am
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Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6875
I like the contrasts.

The first one (tears in my eyes) is less so. As I first read it, I took the tears to be from the sun so perhaps a positive thing. Was that intentionally ambiguous?

For me, "twisted" implied "around your finger" so there may be room to explicitly reference that somewhere.

'all my beliefs are now doubts" is a strong line.

I liked:
blood sucking leech
recurring nightmare

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