View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Thu Jun 4th, 2020 09:50 pm
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Andrea

 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 1759
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RK, This is quite beautiful. It truly brought a tear to my eye. I pray that your friend(s) find peace when the time is right.

I don't have too many ideas for improvement, but here are s couple to consider.

You have made it raining sunshine - you made it rain sunshine

In C, storms and hard rain seem almost the same. I might try a different wording (ie even if there is rain and thunder)

In A* I was waiting for that final uplift:

For years you've been fighting, every day -suggested by RDM
Stubborn but also full of fear
And suffocating more and more
Clinging to life with every tear
I pray that soon you’ll rest
In our Lord‘s amazing grace
Where the skies are finally clear

Just an idea to use or lose. In any case, this is some nice work.



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Andrea
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