|View single post by RainbowKeeper|
|Posted: Sun May 17th, 2020 09:12 pm||
First of all thank you for sharing this piece with us! I know at first it’s a strange feeling to post on here, but if you are ready for honest opinions here is the best place to be. So don’t be shy, even if you think this or that could be better, or I’m not happy with this.... we help and sometimes we give a fresh new point of view. I always like getting feedback, and here you get it to 90% in a polite way. 😉
About your song:
I think I know what you are trying to express. Have a song like that in here, too. Seems to be some kind of illness that infects artists all over the globe 😉
I specially like:
There's no escaping the madness
'cause I hold myself hostage
These conversations are killing me
And when He comes to liberate me
I hold fast to these issues
They're all I've ever known
<< the image of I hold myself hostage is really brilliant!
Try to find more of those images, you have the ability, which is great!
Sometimes, and there I have to agree with mr. Gundown, there is a bit to much if it comes to the writing. It gave me personally the feeling as if you really struggled to get this as perfect as it could possibly be and you need all those words to fulfill it all....na you don’t need that! Sometimes less is more and I, myself like it when not everything is painted out to the last bit...there should be room for the listeners/reader‘s personal path to connect. I hope you can follow me here. Why re-paint a classic picture with day-glow (so that you can be sure that everyone sees what you painted) when it’s beautiful after all, painted with normal colours.
Keep up the good work!
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters