View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Sun Mar 22nd, 2020 09:40 pm
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Andrea

 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 1728
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RK, This is very good - well written. I think you have capture the true feelings of many right now.
My favorite lines are:
"All this silence seems so heavy
As heavy as this poisoned air"

2 lines I may look to tweak are:
"I guess all birds have stopped to sing" - seemed oddly worded

"Only a few are still alive" - this is fine unless you are trying to be right about what it is really like. Maybe more like time will tell how many will survive, or shutting down the world, just to stay alive.



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Andrea
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