|View single post by Billy_Lunch_Money|
|Posted: Wed Mar 18th, 2020 10:19 pm||
I like this one quite a lot!
Just a thought since you said "I‘m not sure about the c-part." It does feel a little squeezed out! I'm not sure if this is going to help!
The use of "Why" in this song seems to make it a bit of an abrupt question to the listener/reader. Perhaps using "Oh" and/or "So" or at something along those lines would make it a bit more of an open question up for interpretation by the listener. Maybe build up to the "Why"?
I was wondering if this is a one person/personal journey, in parts you have use "I"? On that note maybe a few "we"s may be a bit more inviting to the listener?
I'm not entirely sure as I'm still learning the ropes myself!
I'm taking a little break from writing and posting lyrics. But it doesn't mean I'm taking a break from TSF, just strengthening my musical skills.