|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Mon Mar 2nd, 2020 10:31 am||
|I think overall this is shaping nicely. Got a grittiness to it that suggests rock to me.
We locked eyes for a few
how the "seconds" are implied
We’re dog fightin’
Ain’t no crown
there's a sense of viciousness there and pointlessness.
I don't understand these lines either:
The way we met
Was in a book or two
though enigmatic lyrics are nothing new!
More good lines:
How did we get here
From dancing on the clouds
you've created a feeling of distance there as well as the prior euphoria.
I think you've got the structure right here.
That second verse is the end of the story so the bridge has to come in the middle creating a symmetrical shape to the whole.
As a suggestion you might consider:
We’re coming down