 | PM |  | | Quote | | | Reply | | | Full Topic | |
| Joined: | Thu May 17th, 2007 |
| Location: | Stratford, Australia |
| Posts: | 6888 |
| Status: |
Offline
|
I like:
We locked eyes for a few
how the "seconds" are implied
We’re dog fightin’
Ain’t no crown
there's a sense of viciousness there and pointlessness.
I don't understand these lines either:
The way we met
Was in a book or two
though enigmatic lyrics are nothing new!
More good lines:
How did we get here
From dancing on the clouds
you've created a feeling of distance there as well as the prior euphoria.
I think you've got the structure right here.
That second verse is the end of the story so the bridge has to come in the middle creating a symmetrical shape to the whole.
As a suggestion you might consider:
We’re coming down
Coming down
____________________
https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
| Close Window | |