View single post by BDT53
 Posted: Thu Feb 27th, 2020 02:50 am
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BDT53

 

Joined: Wed Feb 26th, 2020
Location: Corona , California USA
Posts: 6
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Thank you, Rainbowkeeper!! That was a constructive reply, I appreciate it! You definitely picked out the parts I wasn’t so sure about, almost to a pin! To your first point: Dog fighting refers to air combat (between fighter planes). It is a bit outdated and/or military jargon (specifically Air Force). Not to sure about it to be honest, and have been kind of sitting on that line until I come up with something better that still holds the same meaning (In the sky theme, if you get me). As for the last line, I hold this same opinion, I just needed that reassurance, thank you for that! As for “was in a book or two” I meant something along the lines of the “meeting” of the characters to be almost movie, or story book like....also a line I’m sitting on. As for line two in B, I forgot to type know before what, I’ll edit the typos out. As for the ocean thing, yes! Super cheesy and now that I think of it I got lazy with that part! I’ll definitely work on the Sea/See rhyme! Thank you so much! 🙏

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