View single post by RainbowKeeper
 Posted: Sun Feb 16th, 2020 10:26 pm
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RainbowKeeper



Joined: Fri Feb 14th, 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 510
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Hey there,
With the greatest respect for you and your work little me wants to give some feedback too.
First of all I really like the chorus and the ending!
What seems to let me frown....is the beginning.
My first line would be „baring our souls“....the stuff u have there before makes it....well „not round“ in my opinion. But to fulfill the whole „message“ I may would keep the line „ when our hearts first entwined“ from the first bit of your song. This may be a good line for a backing vocal in the beginning of the song before the lead vocal starts with: baring our souls.... I think it fits because u bring up that line again later in your lead vocals/lyrics.
Just my opinion but it sounds good in „my inner ear“ 😅
Keep up the good work!



____________________
Hey y’all !
Im new here and tryin to figure out how this forum works!
Interested in convos about good music and specially about songwriting, lyrics and ideas. All my stuff is protected! copyright by FabIan Peters

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