|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Wed Oct 9th, 2019 11:37 pm||
|I'd go further. Beyond the 'Wally's Net Cafe' reference, I don't think Wally should appear in the lyric - he's just not relevant and a distraction.
But I like the lyric overall. It's amusing and different, and I like the wry humour of the chorus as it changes meaning after each verse.
You might switch:
And spend some time alone with her > And spend some time with her alone
"Bud thinks he's here to see"
That line led me to guess that the lady was going to turn out to be someone other than Alice, and the story progress from there. Maybe you want that tension, but otherwise I'd rewrite that to be more definite that this is the girl he is looking for
"And how New Love...wore him out"
That's a funny line. Doesn't regret it, just doesn't want to do it again! Nice!