View single post by M.P. Dudash
 Posted: Fri Sep 20th, 2019 09:37 pm
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M.P. Dudash



Joined: Mon Apr 24th, 2017
Location: Ohio USA
Posts: 1153
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The concept is cool, instead of sleeve, but for me it doesn’t work. Her heart’s set on deceit, or to deceive? I just have a hard time making the transition sound smooth. I think you have a good start but for me the word play doesn’t work. I could be wrong. See what the others have to say. How about- most women are prim and proper, but this one I believe, is out to rip a heart out, her hearts set on deceive?

Last edited on Fri Sep 20th, 2019 09:46 pm by M.P. Dudash



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