View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Sun Sep 15th, 2019 10:52 pm
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RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6478
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It's a solid lyric Joe. Not necessarily saying anything novel, but well constructed and a good fit for the style.
I like your rhyming scheme too. With the right music could go a long way.

As a minor sug:
I've cried and cried til my eyes are sore > I've tried and cried till my eyes are sore



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