|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Tue Sep 3rd, 2019 12:32 am||
|Yep, got some solid foundations to work from here!
I particularly liked:
Lock my heart up with hers, and throw away the keys
In terms of your chorus, I'd be tempted to build on the word "guilty" along the lines of:
Guilty, guilty of dreaming
Guilty, guilty for scheming
and maybe lead with that.
I'm not convinced about the "If justice was water" part, but if you want to keep that I would put it just before the "guilty as a man can get" line to emphasize the rhyme.