View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Mon Aug 19th, 2019 12:37 pm
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Andrea

 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 1904
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Thank RDM for the feedback. What I meant by more wasn't about the length, but about the idea of love enduring over time. I wasn't sure it had enough to give that sense/impact. Maybe it doesn't need to go farther? I am just not sure on that.

I had a hard time with V1. I wanted an introduction on how they met (chance/fate idea). I tried multiple ideas, but this one might sound ok when sung. V2 I really like, but think it wouldn't make a lot of sense without some V1.

You suggest,"I would lose the "we were very good" verse. It feels a bit childish to me. …" I could write something else. I will have to think more about it. Any suggestions?

Thanks for giving ideas for improvement :)



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Andrea
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