|View single post by jamestoffee|
|Posted: Thu Jun 13th, 2019 11:51 am||
|Sounding good and some nice phrases.
You have some time and logic inconsistencies to address.
"Bill McAffee was a bar room lover of considerable size...."
This verse doesn't add to the story b/c other parts state clearly Bill was flirting, or had sex with a married woman.
"It was just a year ago down at Harry's Bar and Grill"
Why a year ago when the singer ends the song having a drink with Lil and no mention of what happened after their drink?
"And the cut of the dress that woman filled would make a grown man cry"
Lil she had a husband by the name of Tommy Joe
He told Lil that he had to leave town for a day or so
But Tommy got the word that she'd been making the scene
And down at Harry's Bar and Grill little men do get mean
This verse causes one time frame issue
Now the juke box was playing Stand by your man
That's where Lil was standing when it hit the fan
Bill he never backed down from any man or beast
But he couldn't out hit that forty four may he rest in peace
The chorus before this verse indicates they were intimate somewhere else, so it's odd they would be back in the bar
The police hauled old Tommy to jail and Lil didn't do much crying
Laying right there in the blood and the beer poor Bill had just finished dying
I thought to myself as I drank my beer ain't no use to get upset
I bought her a drink and she bought three how lucky can one guy get
Again, this is a stretch of events, to act as if nothing just happened and Lil is ready for another guy. What time is it by now in the story for the other events to take place in real time?
"Bill and Lil were looking for a wonderful night
Lil found all that wonder"
Implies they had sex but Bill was killed in the bar. Well, I guess it could be a hookup in the bathroom, but a lot of events seem to be happening in too short a time frame.
Thanks for sharing.