|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Sat Jun 8th, 2019 01:28 am||
|Great feel to this - warm and loving. Those first two verses are especially good. They flow beautifully.
The "glossy page" simile doesn't feel quite as complimentary, but I like the next two lines in that verse.
In v4, I'd look for a different way to say:
stop worrying about your aging
as you've used "age" before.
Maybe there's something about lines or wrinkles there?
But the next 3 lines are good.
And the bookend verse to finish works for me!
I think you have a good one in the making here