View single post by Andrea
 Posted: Mon Jun 3rd, 2019 12:47 pm
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Andrea

 

Joined: Tue Nov 27th, 2018
Location: Poughkeepsie, New York USA
Posts: 1147
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I like it. The hook is really captivating.

"Her voice
No longer lingers
It’s always, the first to go" - this made sense to me

"Have to wilt away and go" - I feel this line can be stronger. To me it reads a bit awkward.



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Andrea
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