|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2019 01:13 am||
|I have mixed feelings on this one.
I really like the overall vibe, and the "next in line" hook works for me.
By the end, I felt like it was repeating itself more than developing though. The idea didn't seem to have anywhere to go.
You might try:
Only time and love... > Time and love ...
I think you might need to work on:
may forgiveness you find
that felt an awkward wording.
But there's more here to like than not.