View single post by Kel
 Posted: Wed Feb 13th, 2019 12:13 am
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Kel

 

Joined: Thu Feb 7th, 2019
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 145
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Hi MP,

I like the concept, but find it way too wordy. Ernest Hemmingway was the master of saying things without words, and I really think as sonwriters we need to take a leaf out of his book.

For example:

Here we are just a shell of what we once were

could be:

We're a shell of what we were

I try to eliminate all the unnecessary words. Standouts are usually: just, that, and anything ending in ...ly! Really!

Did you know "Love Me Do" comprises only 17 words!

Unlike poetry which is written to be read, lyrics are written to be sung, and we need to make the singer's job as easy as possible (They're only singers, after all!)and write for singing, rather than reading. One way I do this is to read my lyrics aloud. This also helps to make sure the stresses are in the correct places, and what we write is rhythmic.

Anyhow, as I said I think this is a great first draft, and well worth going on with.

Cheers,
Kel



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Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what I do about it. Scipio Africanus
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